


Heart in pieces

by Angbanngh



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Both Aulë and Melkor disappointed him, Mairon doubts his place, Mairon is sad, Melkor acts like a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 21:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17968088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angbanngh/pseuds/Angbanngh
Summary: Where Mairon cares about his creations and Melkor doesn't.





	Heart in pieces

Mairon knelt at the floor of his chambers, body bent low, his loose hair almost falling 'til the ground. Slowly he picked the little mechanic thing in front of him, fighting the urge to cradle it to his chest. He'd just make it fall apart further. He needed to fix it first, he needed to repair the damage done, to make it look like nothing did happen after all. He needed to- he-.  
Tears flooded his eyes as he looked at the small thing at his hands. It perfectly filled his palms as he held it, so very careful. This little thing meant the world to him. But now it was being broken. Again. He lifted the small bundle of metal plates, shapes and cogs to his lap, laying it down there securely.  
Never shall it be broken again.

Vivid pictures flooded his mind. Of when he was young. Innocent. Filled with hope. He almost could hear the great hammers of the valinorean forge again. Loudly they thummed inside his head and heart. He had loved working there. There he had learnt everything he knew. How to bend metal to his will, how to treat it, how the mechanic and balance in and between everything worked.  
And then he had started creating. How he enjoyed toying around, trying to shape vivid beings, it's anatomy known by the animals Yavanna kept around herself.

Aulë hated his tries. It seemed like he'd never could do a thing right. A crown too pompous, through it had been lighter than a tiara. A ring too simple, though it was flawless. Weaponry forbidden, for its bad influence.  
But this one time- this one, single time in all times- this one project, the object so fragile and beautiful, so precious to him- he had been sure Aulë would be proud.  
For he himself held what he created with all of his heart. It broke him when his former Master tried to destroy it. He had glared at him, snarled, said it'd be a mockery of Eru's creations. He would have crushed it with his foot if Mairon wouldn't have been faster.

Back then he sat the same as he did now. Protecting his own, precious work with all of his being, trying to find comfort in what was left of what he loved most out of all his artworks. And it hurt.

It still hurt.  
More than anything he knew, until now.

Back in Valinor it was the one that's been like a father to him, who tossed him and his potential away. The one he looked up to. The one he had always admired for his skill, his intelligence and wide heart.  
Melkor had held him as he found him at his chambers in Aulë's halls. He had talked to him, offered help. Together they had fixed the small thing that meant so much to the red haired Maia. He had loved Melkor even more for caring.

Mairon looked down, stoking a thumb over what was supposed to be a wing. With a light crack it gave in to the touch, breaking into two. The noise sent a sting right up to his heart.  
He simply didn't understand. Why would Melkor do such a thing? How low must he hold him to hurt him so deeply on purpose?

It had been him who held the broken parts in place as Mairon had screwed them together again. Melkor's eyes had shown honest fascination and interest as he watched his young lover repairing the machinery. Slow by slow, he had put everything into place again. Light and fragile legs, wings, neck, the small beak. He hadn't stopped until the small bird was perfect, and once again he had softly breathed some of his power into it, making it fly on its own until it would land on the table in front of him again, lightly nudging his fingers as a thank.

He truly loved this small, fragile being. He loved it so much that he brought it with himself, over to Utumno, then Angband. He protected it against all forces from outside with spells, making sure no underling would accidentally or purposely hurt it.  
He even made it fly from time to time. When he felt lonely and sad. Or when he and Melkor sat together at his bed, fire burning low, the rest of the fortress fast asleep.

The one thing he didn't protect it from was Melkor himself. Never had he imagined that his new master- his saviour- his lover- would touch this precious creation of his in fury. Never had he imagined Melkor would be heartless enough to disrespect what he loved.

How wrong he was.

He knew his Master was in pain. He knew what effect these damned gems had on him. He knew he'd be disappointed of him. But never did he knew he'd be so MUCH.  
When his Master came, anger and pain flashed from his eyes. He caught Mairon off-guard while working on a project he got stuck in. Routes and paths for soldiers that just wouldn't want to fit, a situation that seemed hopeless. Melkor yelled, and raged, and hit. The marks on his throat and arms slowly started showing colour already, as he finally started crying.

He wasn't sure if he could fix it this time. Aulë's wrath never had been as heavy as Melkor's.  
Where Aulë broke, Melkor shattered. Sometimes he thought he just should have left already.  
But still, Mairon was here, carefully stroking the small head of the mechanical bird, whispering promises that he'd fix him, that he'd never give him up.

Why it hurt so much, Mairon never really understood.

In truth it wasn't only the bird breaking into pieces every time his creations being violated, but also his heart. For he always put a piece of himself into what he shaped. Almost like Eru himself did.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by snartha's drawing I stumbled over on Pinterest. I feel like there's a fic about it too, but I couldn't find it...
> 
> Also no beta reader, just wantin' to say


End file.
